How to Train Your Slave

How to Train Your Slave

The bond between Master and Slave is special, intimate and powerful. And while every Master will have their own unique methods, they are all unified in demanding nothing but obedience from their subs.

The balance of power and relationship dynamics are key to building the perfect level of submission. This is a journey that will be hard and painful, but like any pursuit, the pleasure comes from persevering.

Whether you want to physically dominate, sexually control or mentally endear your Sub to you, this guide on How to Train Your Slave will give you all that you need.

Before You Begin

The relationship between a Master and their Slave can be fun, passionate and complex. But it always be consensual. Always ensure your relationship and contract has been formally agreed before diving into anything.

From there, make sure your Safe Words have been clearly established. In the heat of the moment, we can all get carried away, but having the Safe Word set is a key safety net to prevent that.

The pleasure, pain and enjoyment of both the Master and Slave will rely on self control on both sides. Maintaining these controls, and understanding where the limits are is both the first and last step on your journey.



Training your Slave is more than a weekend pursuit, and more than an evening hobby. You will need the time to embed the behaviours you desire and the time to correct your subs mistakes until their resistance has broken. This is a process similar to a dancer learning a routine. Practice, repeat, practice, repeat.

Agree on a training period - This can be from 3 months to a year depending on your Slave and your style.

Give you Slave homework - As Master you need to ensure your standards are met. To help the training process your Slave will need to practice what you teach them - even when you’re not around.

Setting these expectations early on will help guide your judgement on whether or not your Slave is truly ready.

The 4 P’s of Domination - What Every Slave Needs to Be Taught


Every Master will want their Slave’s hopes and dreams intimately tied to their 4 P’s. These are the values the Dominator of the relationship stands by, they have to be maintained throughout, and carefully adjusted if they need changing


These are the Master’s core ethical values and principles. When your Slave understands these, they will be better equipped to handle unexpected situations. This should involve defining:

  • General rules of conduct
  • No-go areas
  • Times
  • Acceptable responses
  • Forbidden words
  • Good / Bad behaviours


All the rules governing the behaviour and attitude of the submissive. This should include physical rules and salutations, as well as any rituals that need to be fulfilled.


Preferences refers to defining the likes and dislikes personal to each Master. But beyond this, a good Slave needs to be ready to serve the likes of anyone their Master desires.


This revolves around aligning your Slave’s perception of you with their status. You must be consistent in your principles, protocols and preferences in order to develop your perception as Master.  

Breaking Them In


The techniques and methods you will use to train your Slave will be as varied as you are. But at the core, you will need to structure your training in a way that reinforces the behaviours you want. Similarly to training a puppy or a child, following a firm and consistent methodology will embed your 4 P’s into your Slave.

1. Set the expectation:

  • What do you want your Slave to do?
  • Provide clear and concise instruction and tools for them to succeed.
  • Give them a timeline.

    2. When they meet your expectations:
    • Reward your Slave, and reinforce the belief that obedience pays dividend.
    • Add another layer. Gradually give your Slave more, if they’re ready. Ensuring you follow the earlier points, and reward good behaviour.
      3. When they fail to meet expectations:
      • Why did they fail? You need to understand this, through communication and careful observation. Failures could be due to attitude, skill level or just incapability.

          4. Attitude failures:

          • Retrain your Slave, go through setting the expectations all over until they get it.
          • Delivering some punishment at this stage could be a good way of getting your Slave to focus.

               5. Skill failures:

              • Assess the difficulty of the task, and consider the length of time needed. If necessary, reduce the difficulty.

                   6. Incapable of completing task:

                  • Physical or mental limitations could be holding your Slave back. It’s important you understand these and review your tasks, or what you expect your Slave to achieve.

                    Acknowledging that the world of BDSM is incredibly varied, it’s important you take these notes and find a way to make them work for you, and your Slave.

                    Remember, as Master, you want to embed yourself in the mind and fantasy of your Sub. This will require hard work form your Slave, but it will also require commitment and dedication from you as Master. Remaining consistent in principles and values will help build your Slaves perception of you as the authorizer of their pain, but most importantly their pleasure.


                    Comments (2)

                    Deborah - Mar 03, 2018 My ex husband was trying to train me to become his sub

                    You should also post, that the Master needs to be willing to stick with the training
                    My ex husband never rewarded me and I did everything he asks. He would give me tasks to do to earn my collar
                    When I completed all of the tasks, he changed the rules! He never followed through with the training!
                    This went on for months. I expressed to him how frustrated I was. Then he started to blame me for his lack of having an orgasm. Then he divorced me. I loved being trained and am seeking someone who knows what to do. I am a sub searching for a Master. I am too afraid of starting to be trained and being thrown away and becoming more frustrated than I am. Please update your post and tell all Master’s to think this through before starting.

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