To receive your first collar – or to be “collared” is a serious moment in any relationship. There can be two views on this topic. The old school view tends to hold in high regard the collaring ceremony – the moment where the sub receives their collar, either physically or symbolically. But as trends and fashions have changed, so too has the traditions within the BDSM community. Particularly for women, today wearing a collar or choker can be just as easily a fashion statement as it is a symbol of your relationship with your Dom.

What we call a “collar” has also changed too. As BDSM moves from the “shadows” into a more mainstream appeal, styles will ultimately become less extreme. With many choosing to have one collar for home and another collar for when in public. You can even get collars in the form of necklaces or chains which can be worn outdoors and in the bedroom all the same.

Most likely, your collar will be made from leather, but other materials such as PVC and stainless steel are common. Collars can be decorated in a variety of ways, but for the most part, they will feature some type of clasp, buckle or ring to enable the collar wearer to be restrained or connected to a leash.

If you plan to collar your Sub in public, something that can straddle the line between the subtle and extreme will be ideal. The beauty of the simple leather collar is that it does just that. Ensuring the collar is comfortable for prolonged wear is key, so lining materials such as suede or faux fur enable the Sub to wear the collar all day long. It also makes play less painful as there is less chance the leather will mark the skin or cause a blister. Collars like these are less heavy duty than some of the others out there but are great for using with other adornments. You can turn your partner into a real pet by adding bells and charms, just like a kitten!

If you want to really play with your collars and leashes, it is worth taking the time to ensure the collar is strong enough to handle the force of your Sub pulling against it. For this reason, it’s not surprising some people still choose to use dog collars when selecting a collar for their Sub. If you plan to pull your Sub along by their collar, then you really need to look for collars with reinforced rings and stitching, and with added padding on the interior. The last thing you want is for a snapped collar to spoil the mood! Although many people play with collars and cuffs, for most, discretion is a large part of the fun. The extra padding or lining on your collar will reduce the chance of tell-tale marks while at the same time keeping the play playful.

Depending on your tastes, you can keep on adding more rings to enable more leashes and restraints to be used at the same time, or by multiple persons. But if you are looking for something more fashion conscious there is an unlimited number of creative ways to collar your Sub. Gothic styles and fashion trends mean elaborate accessories such as chokers are much more easily worn in public and also in the bedroom.

But beyond that, what other ways of collaring your sub are there? Sources like Pinterest are fantastic ways of getting ideas on what’s possible. Many of these take the form of jewelry and although they may not be ideal for leashing, they could be perfect for that symbolic gesture or collaring ceremony.

To learn more about collaring you should check out this excellent guide to the traditions of BDSM collars and the significance of different collar types.